Feeling Inane

Feeling Inane

The waiter engaged me in the usual introductory conversation, as described below. I will be playing the part of the enthusiastic lunatic:

“Hi- I’ll be your waiter tonight.”


“…..menus in a minute……”


“…. about our specials…..”


“…..bread with the house spread….”.


“…drink order…..”



Oh dear. Within five minutes, and before my napkin was even comfortably settled in my lap, I’d exhausted my supply of positive rejoinders. Unnecessarily, and even possibly inappropriately, as well. (Is it terrific that he’s going to bring me a menu?) I’d like to say that this was a particularly celebratory evening and I was in high spirits but I think the truth is that I just indiscriminately toss around happy words without much thought as to their suitability. Wouldn’t a few “thank yous” and an encouraging smile have done for this agreeable but unremarkable waiter?

I vow to think more carefully about the words I use.

As we left the restaurant I heard the hostess ask another diner how he had enjoyed his experience.

“Stupendous!” said he.